Letting go

I've said before that this whole detour has taught me about letting go.  It seems that the lesson continues to unfold.

Having the port removed is turning into a big deal for me.  I was actually wondering if I'll ask to keep the port as a souvenir when someone asked me the same question.  That brought me to the realization that that I have a house full of reminders.

First, the woo woo.  When I first started taking Jazzercise class a few years ago, I won a beach towel in an attendance contest.  I used that towel on my mat for floor work like most everyone else.  Within a few weeks, I started to notice that my towel was wearing out faster than everyone else's.  Other class members noticed too.  There were tiny holes forming all over the towel, in a pattern that looked like rain drops (rain holes).  I'm certainly no clean freak so I didn't wash it all that often or vigorously, but people constantly asked me what I'd done to my towel.  I still see people in class with them and while faded with age, they're all in one piece.

Now I have no proof of this, but I just might believe that my prolific sweat was toxic when I had undiagnosed cancer and actually formed those holes.  It turned into a Shroud of Turin sort of mystery for me, so I kept it in my bedroom closet and told exactly two people about my theory.

Another opportunity to show Marc in my wig

And now back to Planet Earth.  Down in the basement I had all of my hats, scarves and my wig all packed up on a shelf.  My daughter actually asked me if she could play with them and I was appalled.  NO FUN WILL BE HAD IN MY CANCER HEAD COVERINGS.

So I am seeing this port removal as a sign that it's time to let go of my holy relics.  The towel went out with the garbage yesterday morning.  I packed up the head gear and shipped it all to an organization in NYC that collects them and gives them out to people with limited financial means.

Matt, to fill in your blank.  No.

I feel much lighter.  I don't think I'm in any danger of fully putting this behind me as if it never happened.  I have doctor's appointments to remind me and, oh yeah, a couple of big scars and frequent wardrobe challenges.