I'm sitting here a bit jittery about the day I'm facing tomorrow.  Not that this is about me, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous.

A year ago today, Esme Kenney was murdered by Anthony Kirkland.  I guess I should add allegedly because he's on trial for it right now, but he did actually confess last year.  This young woman I never knew has been on my mind for the whole year and certainly her parents have.  I have a peripheral connection to the family: Esme and her mother have taken classes at the school where I work.  Esme's mother Lisa went through the same leadership program in 2008 that I did in 2009.  I met Lisa at a gathering of our leadership community last summer and we have chatted a few times online.

I just want to be clear that I have minimal physical connection to this family.  But they have had a huge affect on me and on our world.  Since Esme was murdered, they have worked toward real change in the community.

As a brief background, Kirkland murdered his girlfriend in the mid 1980s.  He was in jail for the crime but for some reason beyond me, he was released in 2003.

His parole ended in 2004; in 2005 he was tried for rape and acquitted.  In 2007 he threatened to kill his 18 month old child in a SWAT standoff.  In 2008 he was convicted of importuning after soliciting sex from his girlfriend's 13 year old daughter.  At that time he was placed on the sex offenders list.

In October, he was released, put on parole and lived in a halfway house in Over the Rhine.  In late February of 2009, he assaulted another resident and was kicked out of the house.  Since it was over the weekend, his parole officer was not notified and Kirkland was not arrested because the other resident refused to press charges.  Kirkland broke his parole by not registering a new address and two warrants were issued for his arrest.  

The rest of the story you know.  They didn't find him and a week later Esme was murdered.

After he was in custody for her murder, police were able to charge him with three unsolved murders - two adult women and another teen.

Esme's parents, Tom and Lisa Siders Kenney have done what I would have thought was impossible.  They have asked for Esme to be remembered with love, not with cries for vengeance.  They have worked to change laws to make sure this can never happen again.  They have worked with the police department to put a new alert system into place.  They have built a school in Malaysia.  That's not even all.  You can read more here.

Despite their immeasurable courage, I suspect that the start of the trial and the anniversary of her death have rattled them.  I read Joe Deters' opening statement last week and the details were horrifying.  It seems as if Kirkland recounted some specific details about her murder and Deters brought them into the trial.

Then yesterday Lisa posted on Facebook that she is going to testify on Monday and gave times and directions to the courtroom.  I started wondering if she was looking for people to come to the trial.  In post after post people were sending love but couldn't make the trial.  Finally a mutual friend said she could go and I contacted her.  She believed that Lisa needs support, so she and I are going to the trial tomorrow.

I hope when we get there the courtroom is so packed with people who love and support the family that Lisa cannot help but be overwhelmed by goodness.  She will sit on that stand and face the man who took away her precious daughter, her only child.  I think the right thing to do is to sit behind him and show Lisa that it's ok to rest in the strength of others.

I have to admit though, that I worry about being strong enough to handle it.  I have come to understand that I am an emotional sponge, excellent at sucking up people's emotions but not so good at releasing them.

I also have to say that this is really the first time that my anti-death penalty conviction has met a serious challenge in my brain.  I still believe that state-sanctioned murder is wrong, but I can't think of a single reason this guy should be allowed to live.  And feeling like I do, I can tell you for sure that it's all about revenge, because there is no such thing as justice here.

So please say an extra prayer for the family tonight and tomorrow.  And really forever.  They are remarkable people, but even the outstanding ones need any support we can offer.